Here in Tucson, we love the excessive heat. The feeling of our skin melting off, like a science experiment where you melt a soda can, warms our soul, quite literally. The UV rays burning into our bones and giving us skin cancer make us feel vibrantly alive. What pleasantries we have living in Tucson. Okay, not really. Here’s how you can keep cool in school.
1. Hydrate! Need we say more? Yes! Bring a refillable water bottle. If that doesn’t work, find a large source of water and jump in!
2. Put on sunscreen! Wear at least SPF 15 to protect yourself from UV rays trying to give you 3rd degree burns and skin cancer. If you are the type of person whose skincare “routine” consists of splashing water on your face, be prepared to douse your largest organ in aloe gel.
3. Stay in the shade! I don’t mean throwing shade to other people, but staying in the shadows to avoid the sun’s rays is a good idea. Or stay inside, panting like a dog as you wallow in the air conditioning. You may start to feel tired or delusional if you spend too much time in the sun. This may be good in a party setting, but it doesn’t exactly suit the school environment.
4. Wear a hat and sunglasses! You may look a little sketchy, but wear these to protect your face, especially if that is the part of your body that tends to get roasted like a marshmallow on fire. (Do not wear these indoors. Be courteous and take them off.)
5. Don’t drink too much caffeine! Sleep well and you’ll be able to feel awake in the morning without your Starbucks frappuccino or gas station coffee with a double-shot of espresso and oat milk. Too much caffeine actually raises your body temperature and makes you feel a lot hotter. This theory is scientifically supported. (See University of Michigan study “Caffeine.”)
6. Cool showers are your friends! Though the abundance of nearby lakes, washes, and streams may entice you, the shower is probably a much cleaner space. A cold shower in the morning will keep you feeling fresh all day and help you focus in class.
7. Ice cream! Or other frozen snacks that will keep your body temperature in the arctic regions should be plentiful in your life. This has been proven to be helpful; ask anyone from Dr. Gallo’s advisory.
8. Fan yourself as much as possible! If you have to be in the sun for long periods of time with no other options, use your hands.. Otherwise, buy a spray bottle and then use the fan attached to cool yourself off. You can use one of those extravagant Chinese fans and make yourself feel like an elegant noble.
9. Get some Advil from the office if needed! Too much time in the heat paired with dehydration gives you headaches, but you always need to be prepared for that pop quiz. Instead of the searing pain that numbs your brain, opt for the Advil that will kill that headache.
10. Extreme exposure! If nothing else works, stay out in the sun as long as you can and you most likely will adapt an immunity. Think of Darwin and the evolution of species. We must also be able to evolve so that we may bear the sun’s violent rays. If not, the sun will burn your bones to a crisp.
(Disclaimer: Please don’t actually do this. This is just sarcasm)
Written by Kira and Sheela (lead copy editor and editor and chief)