Question No. 1:
Dear Roll The Dice: Nice Advice For No Price,
I'm gonna be honest with you: I’m reallllyyyy lazy. I'm willing to walk to the dining hall and get food, but I'm not willing to turn in my used plates and cups afterward. I don't feel like eating next to the dining hall or even near it ‘cuz why would I do that? My plates and cups are with me, therefore the dining hall should just move closer to me. What should I do so that I don't have to walk all the way there?
Couch Potato
Response No. 1:
Dear Couch Potato,
This one is easy to answer. Just throw your dishes away in the nearest trash can! It's accessible, logical and sooo cool. It's not like you and the rest of the school bought them. It's just plastic, so it's perfectly fine to be carelessly thrown in the trash. You can even try and throw them into the trash from where you are sitting just to save those 15 extra steps for something more important!
Question No. 2:
Dear Roll The Dice: Nice Advice For No Price,
I have a student parking spot. It is painted and has my name on it, but the same car still parks there every day! I have left notes, complained to the office, and even talked to them in person, but they still keep parking there. What can I do?
Frustrated Student Driver
Response No. 2:
Dear Frustrated Student Driver,
We’ve gone over all the options and have decided that there is nothing left for you to do other than slash their tires. Not only will it relieve all your frustration, but it will also scare them away from your spot (and the rest of the row!). To help get your message across, you may also want to consider keying a note to the driver into the side of the car.
Question No. 3:
Dear Roll The Dice: Nice Advice For No Price,
I have this friend who is ALWAYS borrowing money from me, and they never pay me back. Don’t get me wrong, they’re a super sweet person, but at this point, they’ve probably borrowed $100 from me, and I don’t think I’m getting a cent of it back. I have a really hard time telling them no and I’m not exactly a money factory. What should I tell them? - Broke
Response No. 3:
Dear Broke,
Many students here have valuable items on them: computer, phone, calculator, AirPods, etc. Our guess is that your friend probably has a few of these items lying around, too. When they’re not looking, simply steal one of their valuables. List it on eBay and within a few days, and your money problems will be solved! You can fill your wallet and have some cash for your friend next time they ask. They may notice the missing items, but as long as you deny it, there won’t be any suspicion.
Written by Amelie and Avery